Starve The Problem, Feed The Solution
“Starve The Problem, Feed The Solution!"
I don’t know if this sounds familiar, but I used to spend so much time trying to understand what was “wrong” with me.
Why I kept drinking when I said I wouldn’t.
Why I could be so committed and motivated in the morning and then not-so-much by 6pm.
Why I always felt like I was failing.
Honestly, I thought if I could just understand why I wasn't able to be stronger, have more self-control—like really get to the root of the problem—I’d be able to fix myself.
But the more I focused on my drinking being a problem, the more stuck I felt.
Because here’s the thing: the problem will always give you something to chew on. It’ll keep you busy. Distracted. Exhausted.
But it won’t move you forward.
“What if you’ve spent enough time focusing on the problem?”
What started to change things for me was when I began asking myself a different question.
Not “Why the *bleep* did I do that again?”
But “What would help me right now?”
Sometimes the “solution” was as simple as a walk. Or a podcast. Or just making it through one evening without reverting to the usual pattern.
“What’s the smallest solution you can try today?”
And it turns out—that’s where the shift lives.
Not in solving the whole problem.
Just in focusing on something that helps.
I used to think that if I punished myself enough, if I felt bad enough, that would stop me.
Spoiler Alert: it didn’t.
What did help?
Letting go of the guilt and shame loop and choosing a small empowering action instead.
Something grounding. Something kind. Something that brought me back to myself, even just a wee bit.
It wasn’t perfect. But it was progress.
And slowly, that became the new pattern.
Not spinning. Not over-thinking.
Just pausing and asking:
What’s the next helpful thing I can do?
It might be journaling.
It might be an early night.
It might be sharing in a support group.
It’s not about pretending the problem doesn’t exist. It’s just not letting it steal all your energy.
“What happens when you reach for the solution instead?”
If you’ve been stuck in your head, trying to answer all the why-me's—I get it.
Honestly, I still go there sometimes.
But now, I don’t stay there for long – I don’t choose to ‘live’ there.
Because I’ve learned that things start to make sense when I do something—anything—that helps.
Not the overthinking.
Not the shame.
Not the trying to control it all.
Just one small choice that feels a little better than the one before.
“What if moving on matters more that figuring it out?”
You don’t have to attach yourself to the problem anymore.
You’re allowed to reach for what helps.
Even now.
Especially now.
Because that’s how things begin to change.
Ready to shift your focus?
If you’re feeling a nudge to try something different, here are a few ways to keep moving forward:
"Ready to dive in?"
If you’re ready for a deeper kind of support, I offer powerful 1:1 coaching sessions fully focused on your total well-being. No fluff—just real support, tailored to YOU.
📝 Disclaimer:
The content on this blog is for informational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. I am an Accredited Sober Coach, Nutrition Coach and Life Coach, but I am not a medical professional. If you are concerned about your health, mental wellbeing, or alcohol use, please speak with your GP or a qualified healthcare provider.
