The Mental Shift That Changes Everything: How to Build Sobriety Strength (Even on the Tough Days)
There’s a moment that happens for a lot of women in midlife—maybe you’ve felt it too.
You’ve tried cutting back on alcohol. You’ve set goals, made promises, felt motivated for a while... only to find yourself pouring the wine again by Thursday.
It’s frustrating. Disheartening. And it makes you question whether lasting change is even possible.
But what if the problem isn’t you?
What if the missing piece is a skill—something you can actually learn, practice, and master? 🤓
That’s what we explored in the final live session of The Alcohol-Free Reset this week. And honestly? It’s a game changer.
Let’s break it down.
Know Why You’re Changing—Then Anchor Into It.
"Without a reason to change, there’s no reason to change."
Sounds obvious, right? But too often, we skip this step. We say we want to drink less… but we haven’t really looked at what we’re moving towards.
So I always invite my clients to ask:
Who is the future version of you that you're becoming?
What do you want more of in your life—energy, peace of mind, confidence, better sleep?
What’s one reason that feels really important right now?
Write it down. Keep it front and centre. When the wine witch comes calling with her promise, “one won’t hurt…”—you’ll have something stronger to hold onto and can tell her where to go. 😉
Nourish Your Brain (So It Can Work With You, Not Against You)
Let’s talk nutrition.
Because here’s the truth: mindset matters—but without the right fuel, your brain will struggle to do the work.
Even a glass or two of wine in the evening disrupts your:
Sleep
Hormones
Gut health
Emotional resilience
And most importantly… your dopamine system
Dopamine is the chemical behind pleasure, motivation, and habits. It gives you that “feel good” hit—but alcohol hijacks it.
The first sip of wine feels good because it’s a quick dopamine boost. But over time, your natural levels drop… and you need more to feel “normal.”
So if you want to reset your habits?
You’ve got to start building new dopamine loops.
Fuel your body with food that supports your brain.
Celebrate small wins (yes, those count!).
And be patient—your brain is learning that this new path is better. But it takes time.
Build Habits That Stick (Even on the Rubbish Days)
Most of us know what we “should” do. But following through when life gets a bit chaotic? That’s the real work.
This one question helps:
What new choices am I committed to—no matter what mood I’m in?
Try it.
“I’m committed to staying alcohol-free—no matter what mood I’m in.”
“I’m committed to 30 minutes of movement three times a week—no matter what mood I’m in.”
“I’m committed to a glass of water first thing—no matter what mood I’m in.”
You’re not always going to feel like it.
But mental strength is built by not feeling like it but doing it anyway.
Train Your Brain to Think Differently
This is the part we don't talk about enough.
Lasting change doesn’t come from willpower—it comes from thinking on purpose.
Your thoughts create your feelings.
Your feelings drive your actions.
Your actions lead to your results.
So ask yourself:
What’s a thought I keep having about alcohol?
How does it make me feel?
What do I do when I feel that way?
What’s the result of that behaviour?
Is it a result you want?
If not—go back to the thought.
That’s where the shift begins.
Insert the Pause (This Is Where the Real Magic Happens)
Here’s the real brain hack:
THOUGHT → FEELING → P A U S E → ACTION → RESULT
That pause in the middle? It’s powerful.
It’s where you stop reacting automatically—and start choosing consciously.
I like to call this the 90 Second Power Pause—a science based technique I teach to help you ride the wave of cravings or big emotions without needing to fix them straight away.
(You can grab the free guide to this tool HERE)
This scratches the surface...
This is just a glimpse of the work we did together during The Alcohol-Free Reset. If something here has struck a chord—and you want support applying these tools to your own life—I’d love to help.
👉 Click here to explore your next step
Because you’re not stuck.
You’re just one small decision—and a bit of mental strength—away from the life you love.
"Ready to dive deeper?"
If you’re ready for a deeper kind of support, I offer powerful 1:1 coaching sessions fully focused on your total well-being. No fluff—just real support, tailored to YOU.
📝 Disclaimer:
The content on this blog is for informational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. I am an Accredited Sober Coach, Certified Nutrition Coach and Life Coach, but I am not a medical professional. If you are concerned about your health, mental wellbeing, or alcohol use, please speak with your GP or a qualified healthcare provider.
