If you can’t imagine life without a drink, imagine what else you’ve been wrong about.

If you made it through Part 1, give yourself a high-five you’ve already faced some uncomfortable truths.

“Why Can’t I Stop Drinking?”

Still struggling?  

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that the real reason you’re still pouring that glass isn’t about the wine at all?

It’s more likely to be about old, deep-rooted beliefs sitting quietly in the back of your mind - the ones that sound reasonable, even believable…but are actually keeping you stuck?

Here are three more of the most common midlife mind-traps I see in grey area drinking—and yes, I believed every one of them too.

1. Grey Area Drinking Beliefs: “I’ll Stop When the Time’s Right”

I told myself I was being “realistic” for years.
All I was doing was postponing the peace I kept saying I wanted.

You’ve got a set of rules you’ve been living by, without ever questioning them.  

Holidays coming up.
Too busy.
Too much family drama. Menopause. Work. Chaos.
You tell yourself you’ll quit when things “settle down.”

But life isn’t going to magically be perfect so you can get your sht together.

Using alcohol to avoid emotional overwhelm — or any other uncomfortable feeling — might feel like relief in the moment, but it’s a common, risky coping pattern that often becomes long-term and damaging.

Truth is, waiting for the perfect time is just a polite way of saying “not yet” to the life you keep saying you want.

Emotional avoidance is strongly linked with longer-term drinking habits in adults, and midlife women under high stress are particularly at risk (Satre et al., Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs).

SELF-COACHING PROMPT:
“If I’m honest… have I been waiting for the perfect time, or am I just avoiding the truth?”

2. Emotional Drinking in Women: Why Willpower Isn’t the Answer

“I’ll be good this week.”
“Stick to the rules.”
“Try harder.”

That was me.

Every.

Bloody.

Monday.

Morning.

Here’s what I wish I’d known sooner: willpower is like your phone battery — it runs out fast. And midlife stress, poor sleep, and hormone changes make your nervous system feel like it’s on it’s knees and discipline drains even faster.

If you keep believing alcohol is “helping you cope,” your brain will keep reaching for it. This isn’t about trying harder — it’s about changing the story that’s driving your choices.

Studies show willpower is a limited resource that depletes under stress, and hormonal changes during perimenopause can amplify cravings and lower emotional regulation (Inzlicht & Schmeichel, Trends in Cognitive Sciences).

Willpower might get you through Dry January.
But it won’t build a life that actually feels good to live in.

You need to stop pretending alcohol is still “helping” you cope.
Because as long as you believe that, your brain will keep reaching for it.

SELF-COACHING PROMPT:
“What would change if I stopped making willpower my only strategy — and started changing the belief that’s fueling the habit?”

3. “I’m Still in Control”

‘In Control’ Isn’t Freedom

Why “not that bad” keeps you from “so much better”

You’re not blacking out.

You’re not drinking every night.
You’re getting up, going to work, keeping the plates spinning.

So you tell yourself you’re fine.

Except… you’re tired.
Bloated.
Foggy.
Argumentative.
Struggling to sleep.

So you must be fine - right?

Grey area drinking keeps you just functional enough to keep going — and just flat enough to never feel your best. That’s the trap.

No-one sees it - but you feel it in your bones.

Perimenopause, Menopause and Alcohol

Studies show willpower is a limited resource that depletes under stress, and hormonal changes during perimenopause can amplify cravings and lower emotional regulation (Inzlicht & Schmeichel, Trends in Cognitive Sciences).

SELF-COACHING PROMPT:
“How much energy am I spending just trying to ‘hold it together’… what could I use it for instead?”

These beliefs feel true—because they’ve been running the show for years.

But just because they feel familiar doesn’t mean they’re right.

If you’re ready to stop white-knuckling your way through another week, if you’re done pretending you’re fine…

📞 Book A Free Call

And stay tuned—Part 3 drops next week.

One final truth bomb. The one that changed everything.

These truth bombs aren’t here to shame you—they’re here to wake you up.

And if they hit a nerve?
Good. That means you’re ready for change.

Which one landed for you the hardest? 

Let me know HERE

OR POP OVER TO INSTAGRAM AND DM ME

📝 Disclaimer:

The content on this blog is for informational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. I am an Accredited Sober Coach, Certified Nutrition Coach and Life Coach, but I am not a medical professional. If you are concerned about your health, mental wellbeing, or alcohol use, please speak with your GP or a qualified healthcare provider.